


Lovely Blue Eyes

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, High School, M/M, Sad Ending, Sad Harry, Self-Harm, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 17:10:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5172395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How could such lovely blue eyes be so cruel? They were by far the most beautiful Harry had ever seen and yet, they were vicious and monstrous like he had seen before.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovely Blue Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for self-harm and suicide.

Harry always was the quiet kid who got good grades, sat in the where there was a seat in the classroom and always had trouble making friends. But then again, it wasn't like he had ever made a move to make friends in the first place so why should they? He was like that in kindergarten even playing in the furthest corner of the playground with his hot wheels as he secretly wished one of the other kids would approach him and ask him to join in their game of freeze tag. But none of the other kids ever did and nor would they. Who wants to play with boy with weird green eyes and hair that was way too curly to manage?

He was a watchful child who'd take notes on someone and find out what kind of person they are just by watching them. Harry would notice the eyes of someone more than anything truly. He loved seeing the noticeable difference they would make on someone. The prettier the eyes, the kinder the person would be. Harry thought himself as an outcast more than anything because he was the only kid with green eyes in his class, who would want to have green eyes? He thought that no one wanted a friend who's eyes stood out or that were constantly wide with fear upon facing someone new. What he would do to fit in...

As Harry grew older, he watched his classmates throughout the years of elementary. Some grades, they lost kids, who occasionally bragged that they were going to a better school, and others would come become new additions the the classroom, appearing as quite shy but was made welcome and was introduced by the children of the classroom. Curly realized that the class seemed to divide up into groups, girls had a tendency to hang out together but split apart in two groups during drama with one or two flitting between both sides as they attempted to resolve it. Boy separated according to interests. Four more on the heavier side here talking about video games, six with rather strong legs there playing a different sport every recess and so forth. Harry belonged to none of those groups seeing as he wasn't strong or large, he belonged more to his own group than anything. He sat and read books or do his homework inside while the teacher corrected work that they did in homework.

Books were in a way his heroes, there was Scooby Doo and the mystery gang who could solve mysteries, Peter Pan who could take children away to Neverland where you could never grow up and so many more than would take too long to describe. Once caught on a book, Harry would be obsessed for a week or so and pretend with imaginary to play around the backyard. Some days he would be Batman and others he would be Harry Potter. Sometimes, he could even convince his mom to join him and they'd chase each other around the yard laughing and giggling with glee defeating villains and saving the day. The best days were when Gemma would join without needing to even ask her and those days would end with ice cream before bed, if they were lucky they'd get toppings too. Harry's favourites were rainbow sprinkles on top of his preferred strawberry gelato. It didn't completely make up for his lack of friends but it worked for him.

Of course the teachers noticed but as far as they were concerned, Harry just liked to be on top of things and be by himself. Those were both true in some ways, Harry did enjoy having things already done that way he could help his mom when he got home and he did like that no one would approach him when he went outside. Although, he secretly longed for a better friend than his mom and his older sister and it wasn't as if he could approach anyone else, not with his anxiety.

Anxiety is what took over Harry's life at school, it set up a defense and kept him away from anyone and everyone who wasn't a teacher. First day of school, he'd figure out the place where he could sit furthest away from where his classmates would sit and where he could attract the least attention. For an example, everyone would want to sit near the class pet, some kids close enough to see the chalk board and quite a few away from the teacher that way they could talk and pass notes. Sometimes the middle was an okay place to be. Not always the most ideal but definitely where no one would look as often as they could.

He'd also figure out where to stand in the gym class that way he'd never get picked for anything, how to look at a teacher to guilt him out of making him answering a question and other such techniques. His gym teacher had somehow grown to love Harry. Paul never forced him to do anything he wasn't comfortable with and always noticed how lonely Harry was. Calling home was an option that drifted and fluttered through his mind on a daily basis and even more so when he saw the curly haired boy siting indifferently without any company but why would he call home? Harry scored top grades for all his classes and excelled especially in reading. But Harry had no friends and that didn't slide past Paul. One call home to Anne was what it took to be aware of her son's situation.

Frankly, Anne had begun thinking of Harry quite often ever since that sole phone call from her son's gym teacher. By his age he should be having sleepovers and be going to birthday parties, no? Gemma certainly had been but perhaps that was just girls, in the least he should be at a classmate's party. Anne would slip little questions as to see if he'd been anyone during school, played any games with the class, and it was obvious to Harry, even at a young age, that his mom wanted him to have friends. He wasn't an idiot and knew that to get her off his back, he had to make her happy. Three times every week, Harry would get home and tell his mom that a friend had invited him over to play when in reality, he opened an account at the local library, take a book out then go to the park and read on the swing set until sun down. Sometimes on weekends, he would pretend it was a sleepover and take a sleeping bag and camp beneath the stars at the park with a flashlight.

Fourth year was terrifying, that was the year he was approached by two different boys who would change his life, the first one was from his sister's grade. Harry was forced outside by his fourth year teacher who had to rush to a staff meeting and was standing and watching everyone around him. He was actually the most popular kid in school even though he was only in year six and not year eight. He had the brightest blue eyes Harry had ever seen and he recognized him from the senior football team. He was playing a year up for the school he was that good. Almost embarrassingly, Harry didn't know his name.

"Hey you!" Harry turned his head to see lovely blue eyes approaching him. He froze up, every muscle in his tensing up and his heart leapt to his throat just like in the books he loved to read. No one has ever approached him during school aside from his teachers. "Hand over your lunch money." Blue eyes said it as casually as asking a teacher if you could go to the washroom or get a drink from the water fountain. When he stood before him, Harry could almost count his eyelashes he was standing so close.

He didn't bring lunch money ever because his mom was certain to make him a rather healthy sandwich each morning and pack him snacks and one or two deserts. "Uh um, I-I d-don't ha-ha-have any." Harry managed to get out before a strong arm grabbed his wrist tightly and dragged around the corner of the school away from the watchful eyes of the supervisors. Blue eyes pinned him up against the wall, holding his forearm against Harry's throat who had started hyperventilating. Short breaths came in and out as he stared up at the boy. His lungs felt as though they were going to burst, he wasn't getting enough air. His arms came up in a weak attempt to claw the forearm of his attacker away.

"You best start bringing some once every week." Blue eyes stared him menacingly in his own green orbs that had begun to blur his sight with tears that welled up. "You better bring some or else." Lovely eyes threatened before loosening his grip on Harry, shoving him roughly in the red brick wall and running quickly over to the football field to join his friends. Harry sat there trying to collect himself before he could return to the sight of the recess supervisors. What would 'or else' mean? How could such lovely blue eyes be so cruel? They were by far the most beautiful Harry had ever seen and yet, they were vicious and monstrous like he had never seen before. As he was ready to return, a big brown eyed boy turned the corner and took a seat next to Harry.

"Are you okay?" Puppy dog eyes asked him which Harry answered with a subtle nod as his heart seemed to pick up speed again. "You just have to watch out for him and make sure to avoid him a bit, I'm Liam by the way, year five." Harry shook Liam's hand lightly with his sweaty hand which thankfully, Liam didn't care for. "Are you new here? I haven't seen you around before." Curly shook his head.

"I-I'm Harry, ye-year f-f-four." And that was all it took for Harry's first friend. As it turns out, Liam was similar to Harry in many ways. Liam loved books, was quiet and didn't have any friends really. He had two sisters and his parents weren't divorced unlike Harry's. He was more of a social butterfly, hanging out with a few boys here then a few boys there. That was still more than Harry could say and ever had said. Harry was still a fair bit protective by the end of that day and kept his guard up for good measure, but at least he could honestly say that he has a friend. He found the second person who would change his life that year. He had big brown eyes that reflected the caring personality he brought with him.

Liam was a good addition to Harry's life seeing as he could finally have a friend to introduce to his mom and somewhere to actually sleep over as oppose to sleeping in the park. Then Anne would also stop pestering Harry about who his friend was. In fact, Liam walked home with Harry after school that very day. It was the first time in a while that Harry had walked home with someone, Gemma never did anymore because she went over to friend's houses usually. It was nice.

Anne was overjoyed when she finally met Harry's friend. She made them cookies and got them glasses of milk then talked to them about their day. Harry, of course, left out the part with lovely blue eyes but spoke of their reading assignment and how he and Liam talked all recess. His mom was smiling so much and Harry was happy that just having a friend made her that happy. The two boys helped each other with their homework and played with Harry's cars until Liam had to go home for dinner. When Harry went to bed, he couldn't help but grin at how happy his mom had been and that he made her that happy just by bringing a friend home.

Harry forgot about Louis that evening and showed up at school the next day without his money. Harry's fourth year teacher thought it was best if he went outside with the rest of his classmates for the rest of the year as Harry walked into the class with his book Mimus. So there Harry stood awkwardly by the school doors waiting for Liam to come join him. When Harry did spot Liam but he was talking to another boy. Dejectedly, Harry walked away kicking at the stones on the ground. Liam wouldn't want a friend like Harry, what was he thinking? Caught off guard, he was pushed up against the brick wall of the school for the second time in two days.

"Did you bring the money?" Lovely blue eyes questioned him with his forearm against Harry's neck and his green eyes widened with fear as realization struck him. This time, blue eyes had another blue eyed boy in his company. The other boy's eyes didn't have quite as nice eyes but they were still prettier than his own in his opinion. "Did you!" Blue eyes shouted in his face, Harry cringed as spit landed on his face.

"N-no." Harry answered, barely more than a whisper. An evil laugh bubbled from lovely blue eyes' mouth and his companion, which caused Harry to tighten up as fear flooded him and adrenaline that he wouldn't dare use rushed through him. As his arm pushed harder into Harry's throat, he was hyperventilating and it became harder and harder to breathe. Suddenly, the force was released as the forearm pulled away and curly fell to the ground gasping for air.

"Do you hear that Niall?" Blue eyes snickered as he loomed over Harry. "Poor little fourth year didn't bring the money I asked for yesterday." Another laugh chimed in but Harry could barely hear it over the sharp ringing in his ears, it was like a dull endless doorbell was echoing in his head. Panic was settling in, his heart was beating loudly in his ears as if he could feel it pulsing, he felt like he wasn't getting enough air in his lungs and he was sweating more than he ever has in gym class. His veins felt as though they were filled with ice and his eyes were glassing over as though he was going to cry.

"What are you going to do him?" Harry could make out an Irish accent questioning lovely blue eyes who was obviously the leader in this situation. He could feel the bullies shadows on him even though his head was spinning like a top. This couldn't be the same popular kid that everyone at school loved, the same popular with the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen. Harry knew he was about to find out what 'or else' was.

"Let's just say I will have to collect payment another way." Harry cried out as a foot landed in his stomach and he toppled over. "Cover his mouth, I don't want to get caught Niall." Sure enough, he felt a sweaty hand clamp over his mouth as powerful blows were delivered to his tummy. Tears were streaming down his face and his screams for help came out muffled. Harry swore he saw a few people walk by but none came to his rescue. Laughter was coming from the two boy's mouths as the final kick hit its target. "I expect double your lunch money next week." Lovely blue eyes sneered before they walked away.

Liam came over and found Harry shaking with sobs as tears poured down his face, his stomach hurt so much to the point where he thought he was going to throw up. When he asked what had happened, Harry only cried harder if possible. Liam figured it must have been the popular boy in the grade above without Harry even needing to speak a single word.. It took a while of comforting and talking Harry into breathing properly but by the end of recess, the only hint that Harry had cried was the red rim around his green eyes.

Harry didn't go to school the next day because of a sore stomach. His mom fed him soup and got him to drink tea but really, Harry's stomach was littered with purple, blue and green bruises that hurt him when he moved even in the slightest. Anne didn't find out about them and allowed her son to stay home for the rest of the week. Liam visited his friend often and explained that he was just talking to Zayn, a boy in his class at school. Harry told Liam about the other boy who must have been named Niall who Liam confessed was in his class.

Monday was dreaded but he went to school anyways with the money he owed lovely blue eyes. This went on for the whole year, if Harry ever showed up without the cash, both blue eyes would beat him up. That may have happened five to seven times but he never allowed his mum to find out. That continued into year five, then year six. By the time Harry arrived to year seven, both Gemma and lovely blue eyes had graduated and moved on to high school. Niall was still in school but he wouldn't hurt Harry as much without help from someone else.

Sometime near December, Niall had come to beat him up with a companion, Liam's friend Zayn. Harry would be lying if he said Zayn didn't show any guilt as he beat up him up. It would turn awkward when Liam, Zayn and Harry would hang out. Liam would notice but brush it aside as Harry's anxiety. Of course, Harry couldn't bring himself to tell Liam about the situation at hand. He didn't want to break up a friendship over something as worthless as himself. Lunch money was due every other week and if it wasn't there, Niall and Zayn would be there to beat up when Liam wasn't around.

Zayn had very pretty eyes, they were ones that could be described as sexy perhaps when he got older. They were soulful and deep, but guilt ridden and Harry knew the guilt came from beating him up. For Harry's birthday, Gemma invited her mysterious boyfriend over for dinner. They had a good day at school, Liam agreed to come over and they played board games with his mom until Gemma arrived with her boyfriend. Hence, the downfall of his party.

"Mum, Harry, this is Louis." She introduced, there stood lovely blue eyes. Now he could put a name to those beautiful eyes. There was a spark of recognition in his lovely blue eyes and when they shook hands, Harry cringed as nails dug themselves into his skin. That occurred for the rest of the night, small kicks and pushes, sometimes little jabs if possible. Liam's sweet caring eyes flit between the two worriedly for the rest of night.

When the evening ended, Harry said goodbye to Liam with a hug and cautiously went into Louis' arms for his hug. "Guess you can't escape me can you?" His hug was tight, way too tight. Harry thanked his mum and kissed her on the cheek before running up to his room for the night. He had gotten an iPod, clothes, books and a new razor for gifts this year. Harry pulled out his new razor and broke one of the heads to get the blade.

He had heard of it before, some people called it an escape but it was more commonly referred to as self-harm. Someone had come into school in September to talk about bullying and suicide among kids. It was a whole presentation and they spoke of a Canadian girl named Amanda Todd who killed herself a few years ago because of a few bad decisions and lots of bullying. They warned the students to tell someone if it was happening but Harry was scared of what Niall and Zayn would do if he did tell an adult or an older student.

"Sorry mum." He whispered as he sliced his wrist, pain ran through his body but numbed out after five seconds. "Sorry Liam." Another cut and more blood flowed out of it than the first one. It was quite beautiful to be honest but not quite as much as Louis' lovely blue eyes. He made yet another cut for good measure before bandaging it up. It wasn't as blissful as he imagined it to be, but it was better than whatever he was feeling.

Harry's escape from reality relied on his blade underneath his underwear in his sock drawer. His mom didn't go into his drawers, she just left his clean clothes on his bed for him to put away but, he would have to worry about hiding his cuts. He decided it would be smarter to cut his thighs than his wrists, what if he wanted to wear short sleeved shirts right? Anyways, if he had to change for gym, his boxers would hide his cuts as long as they were high enough on his legs. Harry figured himself pretty smart for thinking of that and gave himself a pat on the back. 

Liam didn't notice, nor did Zayn or anyone else for the matter. Louis would torment him at least once every week depending on how often he came over to hang out with Gemma. If his sister ran up to take a shower, Louis would make jabs at him, call him names and mess with him. Once, Louis even managed to punch him in the face giving him a good black eye when his mum was still at work. Harry didn't come down from his room for the rest of night. When his mum did ask about it, he stuttered a quick excuse of being clumsy and left his mom rather skeptically.

Eighth grade wasn't the worst year ever due to the fact that year six was positively horrendous. Liam left the school and that was rather shitty but so did Zayn and Niall. That was the first year since fourth grade that Harry wasn't terrified of showing up at school. He was able to read without someone tearing his book and buy lunch with his own money for the first time in forever. He didn't have any friends at school but he had his books and he was okay with that. Liam still hung out but not as often since he was always with Zayn much to Harry's dismay.

Every time Harry did hang out with Liam, Zayn would absolutely have to tag along. His eyes were bright and shining around Liam, almost as if he was head over heels for Harry's best friend, if he could still call Liam that. But still, even after more than three months, the guilt flashed in his eyes every time his gaze fell on young Harry. Not once did he attempt an apology and not once did they let it slip to Liam that Zayn bullied Harry last year. Even if it was uncovered, Liam would take Zayn's side without a doubt.

By the time December rolled by, Gemma broke up with Louis and his lovely blue eyes for some reason still unknown to Harry. She was rather private and touchy about it and some nights, Harry would lay awake in bed and listen to his sister's sobs through the wall that separated their rooms. Sometimes, if Harry wasn't crying quietly himself, he would go over and cuddle his sister until she stopped crying. Gemma would cry onto his shoulder and tell him that he was the best brother in the world and that Louis was the biggest fucking idiot in the world. Harry would murmur in her ear that Louis didn't deserve her and he knew it.

Almost too soon, year eight came to an end as did the summer that followed right after. Harry spent his freedom by the park with his library books and deep into the forest near a small pond he found. It was abandoned but it had a rope swing hooked onto a platform that he could fly off of. Harry never showed the pond, his pond, to anyone because it became his private place that no one could intrude on. If he showed it to Liam, he'd probably show it to Zayn and Harry doesn't want anyone that's ever bullied him like Zayn has here. This was his safe haven.

Harry was introduced to high school with a swirly in the first stall Louis, Zayn and Niall could find. That's how he arrived to first period science with wet hair that dripped toilet water down his back. Girls made faces of disgust as boys roared with laughter. The teacher gave him a hall pass to go get cleaned up outside the classroom. Every other class was the same, teacher assigned them seats and no one would speak a single word to the damp haired boy with dull green eyes. 

Harry grew too tired to do anything most days. He'd do his homework because his grades were not worth dropping and getting shit from his mum. Harry would wake up late, wouldn't pack a lunch and would only eat at dinner. He became too tired to do most things, even eat. Liam had begun the year by sitting with Harry had now moved over and sat with Niall, Zayn and Louis with his lovely blue eyes whom he thought had forgotten about being cruel and an offender to his mate. Two weeks later, he broke the news that he and Zayn, one of his bullies, were now dating. Harry congratulated him before running off to the washroom and throwing the few contents of his stomach. 

Cuts lined his thighs and Harry's weight was dropping fast, Anne brought Harry to several doctor appointments where he was given a strict eating schedules eyeing as he was wobbling on the verge of being underweight. It wasn't like Harry meant to be loosing weight like an anorexic, he just couldn't bring himself to eat when he wasn't hungry. The foods that were called for made him feel heavy and slow and Harry didn't enjoy that very much. If Liam noticed, he didn't seem to car all that much. Zayn seemed to though, he would look Harry over almost everyday and the few days he and Liam sat with curly, he would slide a granola bar topped with yogurt his way. 

Harry felt tired almost all the time, yet he couldn't quite get enough sleep at night. He would lay in bed and listen to the sounds of the house, the ticking of the clock, the gentle snores of his sister and humming of the dishwasher. If he was lucky, he'd be asleep by 2 or 3. His worse night were when he couldn't sleep at all. Those happened every second week or so and with his luck, those were school nights and he'd be nearly falling asleep in class. Then when he returned to his bed, it was as though he couldn't fall asleep all over again. When he could sleep, he couldn't and when he couldn't sleep, he so desperately wanted to.

Louis and Niall were his main torturers, Zayn had backed off quite a bit. One day, Zayn approached him without his boyfriend in tow and pulled him aside. He had a long apology set out and even offered to tell Liam about the bullying. Harry declined on the subject of telling Liam, but broke down crying on Zayn's shoulder and they ditched class together and sat in the restroom and talked it out. Zayn told Harry how he saw him loosing weight and the three cuts he saw back in seventh grade that Harry thought no one saw and was glad that there were never any more (even though there definitely were). Zayn became a better support than Liam was even though Harry was still wary of him.

Liam and Zayn started coming over after school again and in the summer before tenth grade, Harry showed them the pond he found despite Zayn being an old offender. They spent most of their summer back there swinging around and splashing around. Harry still brought his books and his cuts had started to fade and Harry escaped less often than he used too. Harry was gaining his weight back and slept more easily than he used to. Harry didn't know if Liam and Zayn knew it but they were helping him so much and Harry was so so grateful for it. If it hadn't been for Zayn, he doubts he would have gotten back to being as satisfied as he was. But he knew he wasn't actually happy and longed for the times when he was genuinely content.

Summer was only a temporary escape from high school, Niall and Louis with his lovely blue eyes and the horrors that awaited him back in those dreaded hallways. Tenth grade started and Harry was introduced the same way as last year, a swirly in the dirtiest stall of the second floor washrooms. They were seen more often, as the two blue eyed boys saw it as Harry stole Zayn and Liam from them. Some days, they'd shove Harry into a row of lockers where locks would dig into his hips, other days they'd flip his books out of his hand and kick him over when he stooped down to pick them up. 

Names were whispered in his ears if he wasn't struck aside. Useless, invisible, queer, faggot. Harry found it strange being called queer seeing as they considered themselves friends to Zayn and Liam who are bisexual at least and going out, but it still hurt all the same. Anxiety had reemerged again and every time he walked the halls, his heart would leap to his throat and his breathing would become ragged. Anxiety emerged as an issue. Some days, Harry would take a bit of time in the hallway were he was struck to collect himself well after the bell rang earning him detentions for showing up late to classes.

When winter came, the three boys with skates on their shoulders and shovels in hand, they made their way to the pond and cleared off the snow. One afternoon as they skated, Liam offered up the idea that they invite Niall and Louis with his lovely blue eyes. Harry swallowed thickly as he nodded with Zayn's pitiful gaze watching him carefully. That's how they ended up next Saturday with the two blue eyed boys at what Harry used to call his safe haven with hockey sticks.

"Pass the puck curly!" Zayn shouted. Louis, Niall and Liam were on the same team and Zayn and Harry were the opposing team. The game proceeded with a surprisingly good score for the few games they played. "Score!" Zayn cheered as Niall scowled for letting a goal in. Louis frowned as Liam smiled fondly at his boyfriend who leapt into Harry with opened arms as he hollered out victorious cries, that was their second victory beneath their belts. So far everything was smooth sailing but Harry sensed a storm brewing the longer they stayed out.

"Let's play another game!" Niall offered up with a knowing glance towards Louis who nodded with a sly smile. "Why not?" Niall says more pointedly towards the others on the ice. Liam nods enthusiastically without missing a beat while Zayn nods his head slowly shooting a side glance at Harry. He must know something is up too. They all place theirs battered hockey sticks on the ice in preparation of the puck drop. The seventh game is in motion, Louis takes possession on the puck and passes it up to Liam. Zayn skates over and challenges his boyfriend, passing the puck over to Harry who wobbles to the other end of the ice. Before he knows it, he's sliding across the ice clutching his right arm and howling in pain.

He hits a snow bank and snow slides down his neck but he doesn't notice because pain is travelling through his body in waves. Liam and Zayn are racing down the ice to his side and he can hear Niall and Louis sniggering at his pain. Louis's lovely blue eyes flash quickly with something, regret? Guilt? Harry must have imagined it, his body is playing tricks on him with this pain coursing through him, one second he's hot, the next he's cold. Liam and Zayn help him to his feet, Harry feels faint as he can tell he isn't going to last long. He never did well with unintentional pain.

"What the fuck Louis!" He can hear Zayn yell as he and Liam wraps Harry's uninjured arm around his neck. "Niall! What the fucking hell is wrong with you two?!" Harry lifts his head over to look to his left, Liam's face is pale and he looks scared. Zayn is tearing the fabric of one of his spare sweaters to hold up Harry's right arm and his voice is louder than he's ever heard it before.

"Oh come off it Zayn!" He can hear Niall's laughter ringing out loudly now, he's no longer trying to hide it. "He's over reacting, Louis didn't hit him that hard." Harry can feel Zayn and Liam skating towards the pathway through the forest, clearly ignoring Niall. The last Harry remembered was Zayn calling an ambulance before a ringing took control of his hearing and blacking out.

As it turns out, Louis had skated towards him full speed and thrown his hockey stick in front of Harry, being the clumsy kid he is, of course tripped over it. With a small extra push, Louis sent Harry tumbling across the ice and what better to land on than his arm?

Harry had his arm in a neon green cast for three months after that. Those three months were difficult since he didn't know who he could ask to help carry binders to class for him. In the end he carried his books himself with a bit of trouble, dropping them very other class and Niall and Louis pushing him around. When Gemma found out Louis was the cause of his injury, she was beyond furious.

"What a jackass!" She shouted angrily, practically frothing at the mouth. "And to believe I dated that dumbass, that jerk, that knob, for nearly a year! I must have been crazy! You would've told me if I crazy though, right Harry?" The words that came out of his sister's mouth seemed never ending and all Harry could fit in was a nod before she continued on with her speech of a rant. "Maybe I should go toilet paper his house or something with the girls. What do you think Harry?"

"Leave him be Gem." Harry told her simply, he wouldn't want anything else to happen to him because of anyone else, especially his sister, getting involved. "Maybe if you're lucky, the guilt will eat him alive if he even has a soul." 

After those three months, Anne decided what better way to celebrate the removal of his cast by having a high school party in the house? She would leave for the night, then he and Gemma could have a full house with drinks, snacks and everything. Of course they agreed to the terms no alcohol but they were so pumped at the idea of hosting a high school party. There were no official invites, just text messages sent with special instruction bring the fun. It was going to be a party to remember.

Harry was right about one thing, it made quite the impression on everyone. The music was blasting loudly, thumping throughout the house like it was the heartbeat of the party, Harry couldn't even hear himself think. Red solo cups appeared from somewhere and alcohol made its way in even though they had been specifically instructed there was to be none but what could they do? The house was packed and the last Harry saw of Gemma was her grinding up against a rather fit senior, if he does say so himself, from one of her classes. Harry swore he's seen him somewhere else before. Couples were making out around every corner and the upstairs was off limits.

To say Harry was shocked when he literally ran right into Louis when he went outside would be an understatement. It was too hot and stuffy inside, almost unbearably so, and Harry needed a break so he escaped through the back door and ran smack dab into his bully who was taking a drag. Louis turned around and smirked at Harry, extinguished whatever the hell he was smoking and he leaned back against the railing.

"Nice party you have going." He spoke the obvious, almost as if making small talk with a friend rather than a victim. "It's been forever since I've been here." Harry didn't know what to do or say as he inched back towards the door. Should he go or stay here awkwardly and risk being humiliated? Louis was obviously wasted and Harry could honestly say he was scared right now. As he turned to go, Louis shouted out. "Wait!" When he turned to face those lovely blue eyes, a set of lips roughly attached themselves to his and started kissing him forcefully. Harry tried to push Louis off of him but his bully brought his hands down to his ass and squeezed them making him gasp and Louis slid his tongue into his mouth. Eventually, Harry sunk into the kiss and started kissing back, sliding his hands into Louis's hair. The lips were soft and he nibbled on them lightly making Louis moan into his mouth, his grip on his ass tightened. He felt something that he had never felt before. Was this the lust they described so strongly in his books? But wait, what was he doing?

With a jolt, Harry pushed as hard as he could away from Louis who stumbled a few steps back. He couldn't help but notice the hurt expression on his bully but he was shaking with nervousness from what had just happened. Tears sprung to eyes, what had happened, why did it happen? Louis approached him and Harry was stuck in place surprisingly, he was brought into a hug that rocked him back and forth. Curly stood stiffly and uncomfortably in the embrace and lovely blue eyes seemed to have noticed.

"You have no idea how bad I've felt for the past seven years." Louis murmured in his ear sending shivers down his spine. "I was scared of my own feelings, they haven't changed since I first saw you in year six. What better way to push you away than to have you repulse me?" Harry could feel his shaking lessen a bit and he hid his face in Louis's shoulder. "I dated Gemma to get closer to you, I should never have beaten you up. Do you know how bad I felt when I broke your arm? I cried when I got home. I'm unbelievable really, I don't expect you to ever forgive me but I, I-I love you." Harry lifted his head to look Louis in the eyes and saw the lovely blue eyes glossy with tears, guilt and truth that streamed down his cheeks. "I don't know how I can be so sure of this, but I do."

Harry lifted his head and kissed Louis. It was more gentle this time but he felt needy, the kiss was needed like air in his lungs were. The kiss deepened and the space between their two bodies disappeared, hands ran up and down each other. Harry ran his hands up Louis's shirt, feeling the muscles that he had gotten from all the years of football and clawed his back slightly making his former offender gasp. Louis's hands made their way down Harry's pants, not that he cared of course, he just wanted to touch skin right now. Louis froze when his hands slid across the curly haired boy's thighs, it took nearly a minute to realize why. Harry immediately broke off the kiss and stepped back after pulling Louis's hands out of his trousers and off his scarred skin. 

"Shit. You don't, don't," Louis lowered his shaking voice almost in fear as he glanced around to be certain they were on their own before finding Harry's glassy green eyes. "cut? Do you?" Harry took a few stumbling steps back from lovely blue eyes before turning around and heading inside all while leaving Louis alone outside in the cold March air. Harry wasn't sure if he was glad Louis made no attempt to follow him or not.

Thank god for the March break that followed the weekend. Harry didn't know how he could've gone to school and faced Louis right after the party. Hell, he didn't even know what Louis would've done or said on Monday or how he was even going to face him. For all he knows, he could've outed Harry publicly and told the school that he cuts which could lead to his sister finding out and telling their mum. That would probably end in therapy or his family potentially sending him away for help he doesn't need and a heart breaking conversation with his tearful mum and he'd never get over how guilty he'd feel.

Harry kind of ignored he outside world for a few days as he hibernated in his bedroom with his cellphone off and isolated from the few who possibly wanted to contact him. Two days before break would end, Liam showed up in a sweaty mess while Harry was coming up with excuses as to why he can't go to school Monday and the worse had been confirmed. "Tommo tells me you cut." He gasped out in one messy string of words that was suppose to be a sentence. "I was worried, you weren't answering any texts, and I needed to be sure that..." The words were muddled but clear enough to make out exactly what he said. Harry sprinted past Liam and out the door before anything else could come out of his friend's mouth. In a blind panic, he ran to the school, then to the library before turning around and racing to the park. He was tempted to swing around for a little bit but he felt as though if he sat still for too long, someone would find him since surely Liam called him mum or told Gemma who had come out of their rooms when Harry ran off. He didn't know why or how but he knew what he had to do.

He walked as calmly as he could back to the library and while controlling his breathing, he asked for a piece of paper or two and a pen. It was messy and only written in barely more than half an hour but it would do for him. Harry ran around town, he had three precise locations to head for his final destination. At his first stop, he tore part of the paper and slit it in the mail slot and ran for it. He threw himself in bushes twice on his way for the next stop as police cruisers drove by with sirens wailing loudly and lights flashing in warning. He was partially sure they were out to find him but perhaps not, he wasn't that important. He still hid shrubs just in case. The next two stops were easier to reach once he mastered hearing sirens and watching cars of any sort drive by. He swore he heard someone calling his name at some point but that only made him run faster. Once the last of the papers had been delivered in the last mail slot. He sat and waited.

A close call came when he nearly ran into an officer. He was apparently on his break, but was speaking on his mobile right in front of the shrub where Harry had ducked. "Shit, eh?" he spoke. "I'll keep my eyes peeled. Aged sixteen, less than six feet tall, curly hair. And prepared to potentially commit suicide, gotcha." The officer repeated from the muffled voice coming through the intercom. It was plainly obvious to Harry that he was the one that they were looking for. As the police cruiser drove away, he knew that he had to go where no one would find him, or in time at least. He knew exactly where to go. He tore quickly down the path to the forest, escaping as quickly as he could to reach his haven.

Harry decided to create his own pathway seeing as it was going to be his last time running through these woods. He leapt over fallen trees and stumbled over roots that were hidden in the undergrowth. He stepped in small patches of what was left of the past winter's snow. Brambles and stray branches stung and tore at him, and he could see deer run away from him as he disturbed their peace. When he finally got to his pond, all he could hear was the rustling of the forest as squirrels, chipmunks and other small animals scrambled and scurried into their hideaways. The trees and their new leaves chimed almost as if saying goodbye. Harry lowered near the pond and used its freezing ice cold waters to rinse and refresh his face. Only then did he realize his face was flushed red and tears streamed down his face as he caught sight of his reflection in the clear water. It was slightly swollen, his eyes rimmed red. He stood up and brushed himself off before walking over to the platform where his rope swing was tied to a branch for future uses.

It was perfect around his neck, like a rope necklace. Harry felt eerily calm considering what he was about to do. He's never felt more scared than he did stepping off the platform but what was done was done. Although, the last thing he swore he saw, were those lovely blue eyes looking back at him as he tumbled for what felt like an eternity then, darkness that was nothing in comparison to the beautiful eyes he once knew.


End file.
